Give ‘Em A Break

Why are moms so competitive? Why do we compare ourselves so much to each other? Is there anything about doing this that consistently makes us feel good? Probably not. More than likely when you compare your situation to another, sometimes you come out ahead and sometimes you don’t. It’s a constant roller coaster ride.

So I ask again – why do we do this? Why do we torture ourselves? I am guilty of this. Those that know me – even casually – know that I am a competitive person. And most of the time I embrace that trait as it’s a core part of who I am. However, I’ve become very conscious of this as a mother and working to let go of this part of my personality when it comes to parenting. I know it’s not healthy and it will only make me miserable. Do I want my kids to succeed – yes. Does comparing our parenting style, their clothing, potty training schedule, etc. have anything to do with that – no.

As much as I try…it still happens. This weekend, I felt the creep of competition while having a conversation with my sister-in-law about shoe sizes – yes, shoe sizes! That little voice in my head “Why are his feet bigger than SEB’s?” Really? Like any of this can be controlled or is important to the development of our children! Ugh.

Now, I quickly put the thought away because I didn’t have to dig real deep to know it didn’t matter. But I had to laugh at myself and wanted to share the experience with you.

So – let’s give each other a break. As moms, we are all doing the best we can at every given moment. Sometimes we are at the top of our game and sometimes not. Do we make mistakes, yes. But we’re trying. So let’s forgive ourselves – and each other. Stop this madness of comparing ourselves to other moms – even if it makes us feel better in the moment. Because we all know at some point we won’t measure up.

Happy Mother’s Day

A belated Happy Mother’s Day to all of you great mom’s out there. A few special shout-outs: To my mom and mother-in-law. Two incredible women. My grandmothers – we are in awe of you. My three mom sister-in-laws: you rock ladies and are raising incredible children.

The Bryant MD celebration: The family participated in the events surrounding Kalamazoo’s first marathon. I completed the half marathon and Nick ran in the 5K – he set a personal record too!! The kids, my mom and Nick were cheering me on as I came to the finish – a perfect end to 13.1! After, we spent time with my mom and then with Nick’s family. My gift from SEB, CWRB and NRB: Some great finger paintings and a beautiful sketch of the kids. Can’t wait to frame it and find the perfect spot for it to hang.

I want to know: how did you celebrate?

Ditching the Mom Guilt

Below is video and a great piece from this morning’s Today Show with Dr. Meg Meeker and Robin Ludwig on the phenomenon of “Mom Guilt”.

“I think 85% of what moms worry about is that false guilt. The sense I’m never good enough. I’m always doing  something wrong. I think it stems from the sense we have, we believe we are responsible for our kids’ feelings, their successes, their failures, whether they are bored or not. We are responsible for everything. This is wrong. We are not.” -Meg Meeker

Living up to our culture’s expectations of “perfection” can drive a good mother into this sense of “false guilt”. That’s just wrong. Love your kids. Do your best. But let’s all stop comparing ourselves to the other mom in the minivan at the stoplight.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/L3WW8n3j0uwl5gvGveYv1Q

Mommy’s Nose is Scary! – VIDEO

I’m SO glad my kid doesn’t make faces like this when I blow my nose…or do anything else for that matter!

The birth of a word

I’m an analytical type and this study that Deb Roy did regarding the learning of his son’s first words was just fascinating and I wanted to share it with you all. Now – I probably would opt out of cameras all over my house (Not A Perfect Mom = some not so recordable moments), but it sure produces an incredibly riveting account of learning the word “water”.

Check it out and share your thoughts.